Friendship 4

Friendships.

When I see this word I have mixed reactions because I've had some really amazing and really awful experiences when it comes to friends

I find it hard to write about because it is difficult to put into words the feelings that I have.
I also don't want to offend anyone by writing about this.  Who knows if they read this blog - most likely not - but if they do, I want to protect their feelings as well.

I have 2 best friends that I've had for my entire life.  We were babies together, went to preschool through high school together - and two of us even went to the same college.  

Dress up time for the three of us - I talked about Sarah here

These are two people that I know will always be my friends.  If we don't talk for a year, and see each other again, it will be like time hasn't really passed and we have the same relationship as we always have...amazing and lifelong.  I would do anything for these two, and I am pretty sure they would do the same.

Sarah and me

Hollie and me in preschool

Heck - Hollie even promised to give me her second million dollars she earned (this was promised in her car while driving around our home town in high school)...yes, I still remember!


Since I've become an adult I've found it harder and harder to find friends that are true, honest and good people.

I've had a lot of friends that I thought were all of the qualities that I listed above and it turns out that it was all just a false hope. 

It seems like somewhere along the lines of the friendships things just stop...for reasons I don't even know.  Contact abruptly ends, no more phone calls, texting, random updates...almost as if the friendship never existed or meant anything in the first place.

I am ok with this with some relationships, but others have truly hurt my heart and my faith in having long lasting, meaningful friendships. 
I am too trusting and love way too easily and because of this I end up getting hurt.

I can't help but think it is something I do in these "friendships" to ruin it. 

When I reflect back I think; maybe I was too needy and selfish.  Maybe I didn't realize when they needed a friend the most or maybe I'm just not as fun as I think I am. 

All of these things I'm positive have a ring of the truth to them.
Since I've realized this, I've tried to consciously make an effort with everyone new I meet to be the type of person I want to be friends with. 
It isn't all about me - it is all about them, us and our friendship.  I try to be conscious of what the other person needs most and I try to help fulfill that.  I am trying to be a better person and friend.

The friendships that haven't lasted have taught me a lot, and for that I am grateful. 
I still get sad thinking about the, but I must look on the positive side and learn from them.


I am grateful for the friendships I carry with me from childhood.
I am grateful for the friends I have made throughout my adult life.
I am grateful for the new friendships that I have just started to create  

These are the ones I need to nurture and treasure...and I will make sure I do!