Ok, I have to admit something that I am not exactly proud of. I am jealous.
I hate being jealous, and I hate using that word.
I get this feeling more that I would like to.
I don't think it is a healthy feeling, but I can't help it!
I am jealous of the bloggy friendships that I keep reading about.
I have always had insecruity surrounding friendships and meeting new people. This is a conversation I will save for another time and day. Lately these insecurities have been intensified by all this "best-bloggy" friend talk.
I haven't been blogging long - about 3 months - and I know that I can't expect to have connected with tons of people, but I can't help but think "why haven't I?"
Don't get me wrong, I have met some amazing people, or shall I say friends, since starting this adventure of mine. However, none of these are to the point of exchanging numbers, texting and giving gushy love on our blogs!
I have so many thoughts that go through my head when seeing these blooming friendshps.
Am I not funny enough?
Am I too boring?
Am I not someone that people want to be friends with or connect with?
Why don't people want to be my friend?
What is wrong with me?
I know and hope that evenutally these relationships will come. At this moment I hate that I don't have them and this is what I'm jealous of!
Wrong or right this is how I feel - should I be ashamed? I sure hope not!
I know how you feel! I don't know if it has to do with jealousy but I have had the same concerns. So I don't think you should feel ashamed. I don't worry about it much because I have noticed that I don't have a lot in common with the ladies that I see have become internet bffs (I dont really like reality shows, I'm not married, have babies, or like weddings a lot) lol So it sucks but I can't force anything. I've also never been the kind of person that is extroverted, even online!
ReplyDeleteSo I just keeping making blog posts for those who do care to read them and maybe some day I'll gain some very loyal readers that I can befriend :)
I know how you feel! There are a lot of blog "cliques" and I think that is a wonderful thing, I just wish I was part of one, lol. I did have the amazing opportunity to meet some Alabama bloggers in my area, and I am so thankful for that...but I don't have anyone that I text or g-chat with on the regular. Heck I don't have any real life friends I text daily...maybe one day I will be so lucky. I too don't really know where I fit. I am not a mom, a single girl out partying all the time, a fashion star, a reality TV junkie...I am just me. A newlywed still trying to find my place in the world. I would trade digits with you ;)
ReplyDeleteI felt the exact same way in the beginning! I met a ton of people I loved but I just didn't think I'd ever be weird enough to actually "click" instantly with someone and have a best bloggy friend. And then one random day it happened. You can't force it, it just comes naturally :)
ReplyDeleteI think you are just fine the way you are. Some people (not me) are simply more vocal and "chatty" - they post every little thought they have: "Texting ___, craving ___, wishing for ___". Their lives *seem* busier and full of friends, but they are really just adding hype to every little thing.
ReplyDeleteDude. Number one, I consider you to be one of my good blogging friends! And 2. of course you are funny enough, and just good enough all around! I don't think I have ever read your blog and felt bored at all. You are one of my fave reads!
ReplyDeletewoohoo now you have a good bloggy friend!!! :) :)
ReplyDeleteI definitely feel that way sometimes!!!!
ReplyDeleteXOXO