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Friday, May 24, 2013

The great debate - children! 8

When I first started blogging I wrote a post about the decision to have or not to have children.  Even though I've already gone through this subject something happened to me today at work that brought up the subject again.

I was in the break room and someone asked if I had children.  I instantly shook my head like I was a crazy person and said "ohhhh nooooo".  The next thing that happened is at least 3 people looked at me like I was indeed nuts!

"Oh my gosh, you don't have kids?"  
"When are you going to have them?"  
"How old are you?"
"How can you not have a family already?"  
"I can't believe you don't want kids, you're crazy!"  

And the questions kept coming......

So here it goes:

1.) No, Rams and I don't have kids and this has been a conscience decision.  We have never tried to start a family.

2.)  When are we going to have them?  At this point never.  Just because I'm married doesn't mean I must to procreate!

3.)  I'm 29 thanks.  What does this have to do with anything?  Just because I'm in my late 20's does not mean I need to have children.  It isn't a law!

4.)  I DO have a family.  I have my amazing husband, my dogs, my parents, in-laws,  sisters, nieces and nephew.  They are my family!  They are the most important things in the world to me...don't tell me I don't have a family just because I don't have children!

5.)  We are not crazy.  Ramesh and I have decided that right now we don't have any interest in having children.  This does not mean it doesn't cross my mind once every year or so, but we just don't have the desire to have children.  To be honest, we like having time to do what we want.  We like having our money to spend on each other   We enjoy not having the responsibility that a child requires.  We are selfish and yes, 6.5 years into our marriage we still enjoy spending time with just each other!

I am so sick of people judging me because I don't have or want kids.  This doesn't make me less of a person.  This doesn't make me less of a female.  This certainly doesn't make me less of a wife!

I am so thankful for the people that understand our decision.  I am so glad that I have a supportive family that doesn't judge us or force the issue on us.  THANK YOU for that!

There you have it.  If you want to check out my first post on this issue, here it is!

Happy Friday everyone!


  1. I don't think you are crazy, and I am pretty sure I agree with you on the choice to not have kids. They're a responsibility I don't want to have. I like my sleep, money, and time too much.

  2. I'm glad you made that decision. Too many people have kids because they feel like they have too. Then they are miserable and so are the children! SO more power to you. You know what you want!

  3. I don't think you're crazy! B and I were just talking about this last night and how right now all we want is the dogs and we aren't sure if we EVER want kids. We like being able to do whatever we want.

  4. Not having children is NOT selfish. What is truly selfish is only having children because you think you "have to", because other people want you to, because your friends are having them, etc. The people who have children for those dumb reasons are the selfish ones.

  5. I dont think you are crazy at all. Some of the guys around here at my job think I'm crazy because I've stated multiple times that I don't want kids. But just because I am able to procreate doesnt mean I HAVE to. It's such nonsense and I totally support yall in those decisions.

  6. That must have happened after I left. People are rude!!

  7. This is how Chris and I feel. I will be 30 in August, and I know my time is limited on having kids but I just don't feel the need to have children right now. Our dogs are already enough responsibility in that we can't just leave for a weekend without finding care for them. You can't exactly drop kids off to get boarded when you want to get away lol. Plus they do take lots of money and time, and those are two things we are selfish with right now. We may never have any. I don't feel that us non-breeding couples failed at life, we just now how to enjoy each other without kids. People need to stop being so judgy!!!

  8. Thank you! My husband and I are childless by choice, too. That's what it is - a choice. I support everyone else's right to have or not have as many children as they want, and I expect the same in return.


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