Hello...today I am linking up with Staci, Sara, Kaitlyn and Katelyn for
"Sorry I'm not Sorry".
I have one BIG issue that I have to talk about related to this link up...sorry I'm not sorry that I may not want kids, babies, crumb grubbers, kiddos, munchkins!!
"Sorry I'm not Sorry".
I have one BIG issue that I have to talk about related to this link up...sorry I'm not sorry that I may not want kids, babies, crumb grubbers, kiddos, munchkins!!
Rams and I have been married for 6 years. I am 28, he is 29 and we have started getting the kid question. Family asks frequently "when are you making babies", friends, coworkers and even random strangers! I'm never quite sure how to answer this question, because honestly...I have no clue!
I was never the girl who always wanted kids. I hear a lot of my friends say "all I ever wanted was to get married and have a family". Not me. I wanted to get married, but the kids part was never a solid part of that dream!
Don't get me wrong, I really like kids! I LOVE my nieces and nephew more than I can explain! If I could spend all my time being the best Aunt ever, I would!
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| my loves! |
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| Rams and Baby A |
...but I've never had that I MUST REPRODUCE feeling.
Rams sits at 1% wanting kids and 99% hell no!
We both get a lot of crap regarding this issue. I have gotten comments like:
"You are wrong for not wanting kids, I can't believe you"
"You will regret it if you never have babies"
"What is wrong with you"
"You must be really selfish, who doesn't want a family"
I am never quite sure how to respond.
We definitely have not ruled anything out. We just aren't at the point in our lives where it is a priority.
So here are my thoughts - right or wrong:
1.) We are selfish right now; we enjoy having money to spend on ourselves. We like to travel, go to nice dinners, buy nice things. We are honestly not willing to give that lifestyle up yet.
2.) I don't want to work if we have babies. My mom stayed home with my sisters and me, and that is how I want to raise my children!
3.) We don't have family anywhere near us, and I really want to be close to family when and if we start a family.
4.) I feel incredibly inadequate when all my friends are having babies and we are not. I almost feel left out...I know what is a strange way to feel, but that is the best way to describe it.
5.) I would really like to know what our Sri Lankan + Polish babies would look like.
6.) I don't want to miss out on that bond that mothers and children have. I want to experience that feeling!
7.) I do not want to ever regret my decision.
8.) We are not going to consider babies until we are 100% ready and willing to give everything possible to them!
This is how I feel. It may change tomorrow or 2 years from now but it is a personal choice that I don't think I should EVER be judged on.
I would love to hear what all the readers think about this topic...please comment away!
In conclusion, sorry, but I'm really not sorry for living my own life!
In conclusion, sorry, but I'm really not sorry for living my own life!
Barely any of my friends have kids and I'm not even close to getting married so I don't have that pressure to have kids at the moment. However, I always wonder what it would be like to be a TINK (two income no kids). I'm guessing heaven! I have just always assumed I would have children one day (I am obsessed with babies) but the older I get the more I realize I don't have to if I don't want to!
ReplyDeleteI am totally with you on this one, as you know. I get similar annoying and rude comments from family. You might like this place: http://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/. It's a community of people who choose to not have kids. I really like reading the stuff there. After finding that place, I didn't feel like so much of a weirdo.
ReplyDeleteYou are JUST NOW getting that question?? Lucky! We were married 2 months and people were shocked that I wasn't knocked up, ha ha! Here's the answer you give if you want to shut people up... "We try everyday! Sometimes 2-3 times a day!" ha ha! My hubs would seriously say that and they'd stop asking! :)
ReplyDeletePeople are so judgmental over this topic and I just don't get it! If you don't want kids, great - if you want 10 kids, great. It's everyone's CHOICE! And I really like Courtney B's solution above... that's just hilarious!
ReplyDeleteIf other people want you to have kids, ask them if they will be paying for all of the babies' expenses, food, toys, daycare, and their college educations, since they are the ones who want these kids to be created right now.
ReplyDeletePeople are so ridiculous. I had much rather you come out & say kids? Nope not for us! Than to have kids you don't want just because it's the thing to do. Those are the people who deserve a big judgment snack right across the face! Also, love the crumb grubbers line.
ReplyDeleteI am in the same position that you are. My two best friends have babies and I feel like they are all moving on with their lives and I am "behind" in a sense. But, when I really think about it I am not so sure I even would want a kid right now if the stars aligned perfectly to where we could afford to have one right now. There are so many things I want to do with just Garrett still. And, like you, I was never the girl who had to have kids!
ReplyDeleteI'm in no place to comment on this because I'm a college student and definitely not married but ids are a choice, they certainly are not mandatory :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about never having the desire to have babies, I feel the same way. I always wanted to get married but babies I want to wait on. Someday we will have kids but not any time soon. I want to have the desire there because kids are a lot of work. I say enjoy your time together and when or if you are ready you will feel it!
ReplyDeletelove from NYC,
Taylor
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